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Have you ever heard of the statement, ‘Man is a social animal‘?

Since the beginning of my time, I have always been amazed at my lack of social skills. I do not fare well in groups of more than 4-5 people. I enjoy pondering over rhetorical questions that are purely self-opinionated. Today, I am reminded that there is really an inappropriate time for certain topics in a social group conversation.

It all started when I read about socialism and capitalism the other day. In my eagerness to know what others would tend to favour more, I brought up the subject over lunch. That proved to be quite a mistake. I will not bore you with the exact details but it left me distraught.

Thereafter, I had a small discussion with a friend. When the conversation leans on a one-to-one basis and the other party is receptive, I could actually come up with reasons to defend why socialism is unreal and remains an idealistic concept. Without taking into considerations the various branches of socialism (like communism), I think socialism in all its purity is a rather interesting idea to toy with. There are 2 distinct features of socialism that attract me:

• Every single person is given an equality in rights
• Every single person has a say in decision making

However, that would assume everyone accepts self responsibility. Many had tried and failed at creating such a society. To me, communism is socialism gone bad. Socialism in its greatest form can become an utopia.

Enough of my abstract thoughts and back to the gist of this entry.

I am finding it more difficult than ever to share such conversations with another fellow human being. It is easy to be refuted in online forums where there are plenty of people who possess an in-depth knowledge on such a topic. But why can’t I carry out the same conversations that allow me to practice my English language in speech and to think on my feet? Am I the only one who feels like an odd ball in most social settings? I hate talking about the weather.

On a side note, I started recording how I talk. Upon playback, I found that I speak strangely and I could not understand what I was saying. This is probably why I get lots of ‘huh’ when I talk to other people. :(