thepremit.com Blog

If I had wanted to remain in the comforts of everyone’s perceived safety net, I would have completed my assigned task before the new year arrived. Instead, I chose the uncharted terrain and ended up facing plenty of fears and insecurities.

I knew I have never excelled in anything before. But the infinite number of times I had to confront my inexperience is starting to bog me down. With that thought hovering endlessly, I am writing henceforth with the utmost unsettling state of mind.

Call me egoistic but I hate to do things the tried and proven way. For every project that came to me, I would do code refactoring even though I reused the entire source code from previous projects. In addition, I would also toy with different methods for any given scenario. And when I was truly bored, I would venture into performance and benchmarking tests. I always exceed the allocated development time and can be slow usually because of my constant need for ‘perfection’.

I hate the way I over-think and add noise to simplicity. I hate the way I try to outsmart myself by declining to conform to conventional norms. I hate the way I refuse to settle for comfortability. But all in all, this is just the premity way to force myself to grow.

What a contradiction! To round it up, would you stick to traditional ways and be speedy or unknown ways and be crawling (literally)?

EDIT on January 06, 2011
Quit giving me signs that I should rest. Whenever I have a fever, I conjure up hallucinations of you and that is probably the closest I can get to having you again. For the greater good, time is running out.