Why Choose Unhappiness?
After reading Scott Young’s article on “Mental Aikido: The Necessity of Unhappiness in the Ideal Life“, it reminded me again that I have always been an unhappy person. In contradictory contrast, I am well contented with life and there is nothing more I can yearn to have and hold.
My being unhappy could be due to motivation and/or a lack of self-worth. At times, I think it is innate for I can’t break away from being unhappy. I could absolutely relate to this paragraph Scott wrote:
Sad people listen to depressing music, not cheerful songs. Even if they don’t like feeling sad, they take steps to intensify that feeling.
Some people have questioned me on the endless bout of motivation I have at work. But none knew this productivity level was derived from unhappiness. I listen to sad English rock songs all the time – on airplane crash, hiding one’s true self, death, child abuse, apologies and so forth. In addition, I read the news daily and pay an overt attention on tragic life stories, especially on natural disasters, accidents and murders. It does not help as well that I kept a few books on serial killers and premeditated murders. Perhaps the act of injecting unhappiness in my life is the only goal I have.
As compared to what most would perceive, unhappiness does not inevitably equate to a less fulfilling life. I shared a conversation with a friend the previous week on wanting nothing in life. In abstract, she told me to be grateful and respect the sanctity of life. To me, being unhappy spurs me to seek improvement in my craft. It induces me to embrace learning because I am often restless and unsatisfied with my work. I also train myself to write, eat and doodle with my less dominant hand to reduce the monotony in life (this was a by-product of my twice fractured dominant wrist as well).
Sometimes, I have no inkling why I am unhappy most of the time. A decade ago, I was diagnosed with depression and mentioned that the flame of life has extinguished. I could be missing out on the myriad aspects in life by drowning myself in unhappiness. But then again, there is no other way to deserve a life I refuse to continue living.
Here is another poser composed in 2003 during one of my melancholic moods:
The Moon Will Shine the Way Home
I sit in the dwell,
searching for answers in the night.
A panoramic view of the sky
bespeak my loneliness into loneliness.The glows in the night,
not one or two,
in quantities they are not to be deemed.Each feeling lonely like the next,
but halt,
who will build a bridge across?
“Not me, not me,”
everyone whispers to its neighbour.None stirs from its fixture,
where none relents its shine.
But the one with the dark glitter,
far from light,
is the most lonely one of all.An imaginary attempt
to besiege bonding from the scape,
I sit in my dwell and ponder.
Do you think there is a positive power in unhappiness? Throughout the ages, there have been numerous famous people from all walks of life who struggled with depression and some met with a tragic death. Yet, unhappiness inspired them to create their greatest work – for instance, Robert Frost, Vincent van Gogh, Kurt Cobain, Ernest Hemingway and Abraham Lincoln.
* Image was taken from Free Digital Photos: Dog Looking Through Window by Ian Kahn
5 Responses to 'Why Choose Unhappiness?'
Leave a Reply
I welcome all comments but no flaming please. :)
As long u can feel happy being unhappy, i will feel happy for u!!
LuckyDucky
30 May 10 at 12:56
LuckyDucky,
Though I very much doubt there is happiness in unhappiness (oxymoron?), thanks for your well wishes.
;premit
premit
30 May 10 at 23:18
A positive power in unhappiness?
If we magnify unhappiness in others and help? We can achieve positive power. Otherwise, perhaps, only meditation could be the alternative path to seek this positive power.
Perhaps, we learnt about happiness from unhappiness only when we do charity work for example; volunteer & other charity works? We will be drew back to the board pondering over our self-unhappiness compare to others who are more unfortunate who may or may not be happy. Afterall, helping someone without any conditions, make one happy. That is a way to achieve continous self awarness inner-happiness for ourself.
I think at least for me…I wouldn’t want to choose unhappiness. But when it comes, I tried ways to counter it to my benefits.. If I am pondering over something that cannot be save or turn back the clock, I go for a long run. Afterall, is healthier. (*And I need to pass my ippt*) Well..but if it rains or I am plainly too lazy, I opt to meditate.
But, as human being; we have to know ourself well. Are you gaining genuine happiness or genuine unhappiness? Only we can answer for ourself as many choose to put up a false front to others but end up suffering when they are alone. If you are stuck in between partial happiness or partial unhappiness at a per incident/suituation basis often, you are leading a souless life. :) One’s have to be very sure of his/her state of mind; clearing as much gray area as possible.
Red Devil
1 Jun 10 at 13:14
Red Devil,
You mentioned meditation as a solution to finding peace within oneself. Would you mind elaborating more?
Perhaps you are right in stating that self-awareness instills a soulful life. It could work for some. But alas, we know there are always exceptions. For some people, the act of self-reflection drove them to a premature death.
The saying, “Ignorance is bliss”, is a truism so factual that it should not be ignored (pun intended).
;premit
premit
1 Jun 10 at 22:42
Meditation focus on one’s breathing and concentration level in my opionion. In the process, it trained your patience also. :-) For most starters, they will find it boring and a waste of time. But, as you continue. You might go into the stage of feeling “alive”. You are aware you are breathing in and breathing out (*not just breathing*), walking a step at a time (*not just walking*), making a turn from a corner to the extent you know u are brushing your teeth. Finally, an automated second voice advising u that you should not make a decision when you are happy or unhappy mood.
Many of us especially in such a high pace society have forgotten the word “awareness”. Without awareness, most goes into panic mood and can’t find peace within themselves.
But most will ask what do you gain from meditation? Isn’t it more productive to focus on problems and solutions?
Hmm..my view is….the brain is like a cup of water.. we need to empty it sometimes, as the water is stilled and sometimes, it is full. Meditation sort of reset your thoughts to the basis level.
Perhaps, at least to me, is only when we have a clear mind, we then can find peace. That is the very only moment also whereby u make crucial decisions and judgements.
Red Devil
23 Jun 10 at 17:27